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Marieke de Boer

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May 12 2020

If you hate giving presentations – but you have to do it regularly

Standing alone in front of a group of people and giving a presentation… it may seem like an insurmountable obstacle. Maybe you don’t like talking to more than one person at the same time. Maybe your thoughts constantly drift away to what could go wrong, or you break out in cold sweat just by the thought of it. Maybe you’re very reluctant to give an online presentation because you can’t look your audience straight in the eye. If that’s the case it’s not tempting to expose yourself to such an experience.

When we find ourselves in a situation we perceive as exciting or unsafe, our nervous system often takes over. Our body automatically responds with stress reactions, such as tremors, palpitations or a frog in your throat. Or you freeze to the spot or have negative thoughts. Maybe you think back to a time when a presentation didn’t turn out well. Often self-criticism plays a role as well. You temporarily don’t seem to have access to your capabilities – just at a time you really need them!

Many people therefore postpone preparing for a presentation or prepare it down to the last detail – either way forgetting to focus on what they really need in order to feel more at ease or to even have fun. Or they ‘forget’ their audience. While presenting can also become easier if you do focus on your audience.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about the first automatic reaction of your nervous system, but you can influence the way you deal with it. In a coaching or a presentation training you can learn how to prepare yourself mentally and physically, which enables you to steer the tension and to even use it to speak vividly.

You will also learn how to use your own strengths in your presentation, such as your enormous content-related knowledge or your analytical skills. In addition, you will be taught proven techniques to make your story more attractive and to connect with your audience, face2face or online. Colleagues, executives, or clients.

I can’t promise you that after a coaching or a presentation training you will happily accept every invitation to give a presentation. But I can promise you that you will be much more capable of turning your own discomfort into effective behavior. That you will have enough confidence to give a presentation and make contact with your audience. In order to increase your impact and to reach your goal.

Let’s for example take a look at a common problem with giving presentations: dealing with your own critical voices. Are you going down and out, or is there another option?

Down and out, or ….

Dealing with the Internal Critic

Perhaps, when you feel miserable in front of an audience

you fear that the audience is criticizing you

 

however, it is most likely that you yourself are the most unforgiving critic in the room.

This internal critic may have a familiar voice, that of parents, teachers, bosses, admired colleagues or even your own.

 

The more critical the voice is:

the more rejected & the more down you feel

the harsher you will become

this forms a vicious cycle, a never-ending story

The funny thing is that the signals of your audience seem to confirm the internal critic – and you are not aware that your own negative point of view influences your interpretation. You feel even more down and out and it seems impossible to perform.

Unless….

You change your view and you break the cycle

Now you may recognize the internal critic as an outdated pattern. A way of thinking that puts you in a negative spiral downwards that does not match the reality.

Once you broke the pattern…

You can support yourself in two ways:

First

Reality check

Look at the actual situation, by doing a reality check

  • What do I literally see in my audience?
  • Did I ask them what it means?
  • What do they say or ask?
  • Are there other possible explanations for what is happening?

How can I help my audience move forward?

 

And second

Compassion

Support yourself with compassion in the way you would support a friend.

  • Realize what your strong points are and use them.
  • Check what you need to feel up to the task.
  • Do what you need to support yourself.

After that, focus on your audience.

For example

If, during your presentation, your internal critic ‘corrects’ you

E.g. the voice shouts: Speak up
Check once if this is a useful comment

If so, do speak up 😊

 

If the correction appears to come from the outdated pattern and repeats itself just from habit
Just let it be

And proceed with your presentation.

 

Enjoy!

Written by admin · Categorized: Presentation training

Jun 06 2019

Just a second

https://www.presentationtraining.nl/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Just-a-second-low-res.mp4

Written by admin · Categorized: Nerves, Presentation training

Jan 20 2016

Presentation techniques: how to use your nerves to good effect

Even skilled presenters may sometimes experience a bit of tension. In stressful situations, feeling nervous is a natural physical reaction. Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself.   You start to tremble, sweat or blush. And – unfortunately – even if you are well-prepared, this can still happen.  However, the truth is that often this tension is more related to your own assessment of the situation than to your actual abilities as a presenter. So what can you do to master those annoying nerves, and still be able to give a powerful presentation? Let me help you to get started by using four basic rules.

1 Presenter Fly1) Accept your nerves
When you decide to accept your involuntary physical reactions instead of being worried about them, managing feelings of nervousness becomes much easier to deal with. Remember that most of your body’s reactions are not visible to the audience. In fact, you can channel your (nervous) energy constructively. How? By making underlying gestures that support and enliven what you have to say. Also, a simple ‘warm up’ can be very effective. People who are tense often seem a little stiff and formal.   By moving about, you loosen up and become more alert. So: stretch, use your voice fully and shake out those tricky nerves before the start of your presentation!

2 Presenter Red roots2) Ground: stand on your own two feet
Your posture – particularly the way you stand – conveys a message to the audience and also to yourself. By standing tall and relaxed, firmly on both feet, knees flexible, breastbone up, your body is telling people: “I am at ease with myself. I stand up for what I say.” Of course, you can always move and walk about just as you like, however, coming back to this relaxed but grounded standing posture regularly will help you to feel secure. And when you feel secure, the tension will release via those two feet of yours planted firmly on the floor.

3 Presenter Breathing3) Breathe!
One of the most effective ways to reduce your tension and to stay calm is by breathing freely and deeply.  When you do so, you give a signal to your brain that the situation is safe, and this allows you to think clearly. When you are grounded, as described above, you make space for yourself to breathe fully. An hour or so before your presentation, take time to slow down your breath consciously, in order to get used to keeping yourself calm. Also make sure that you take small pauses when speaking, when you arrive at the ‘commas and full stops’ in your speech or presentation. This allows your body to breathe in and out by itself, and find a natural punctuation of your message.

4) Engage
Once you have taken care of your own needs by taking a stable and flexible posture and by breathing freely – you can do this in only a few seconds – you can then shift your attention to your audience. This outward focus to the audience will get you into a positive spiral, so that you can give your audience the energy it needs from you.

4 Presenter and audience

And now – do you feel ready for that next presentation? I’d like to help you to feel prepared for it. Whether it takes place live or online, I always focus my presentation training on what you need in order to be completely at ease during all your public speaking, whether it’s a talk to a small group, a presentation to colleagues, or a professional speech to a big audience.

Written by Marieke de Boer · Categorized: Nerves, Presentation training

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